


Wedding Sausages

by misura



Category: When in Rome (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-02 01:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2794724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I've always wanted to jump out of a wedding cake," Gale said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Sausages

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Doyle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doyle/gifts).



"I've always wanted to jump out of a wedding cake," Gale said. "Just like, you know, people are all going to be: okay, so that cake _looks_ awesome, but does it actually _taste_ awesome? And then, bam, me. You bet your ass it does, ladies. Hey, you want some whipped cream with that? Rowr?"

"Ladies _and gentlemen_ , right?" Al asked. "Given that you are - " He flapped his hands.

"Beauty knows no gender, absolutely." Gale bobbed his head. "Nice, nice, I like it. We should put that on our wedding invitations. So what do you think?"

Tony coughed. Lance was shuffling a deck of cards single-handedly.

"Sausage," Al said. "I mean, call me old-fashioned, but really, a cake? Why do people always get a cake?"

"It could be a magical cake," Lance said. "It's gone - no, wait, there's two - no, wait, it's floating - no, wait, it's ... it's magic! Annnd presto!" He plucked a rose out of thin air and profferred it to Tony.

"How about something, I don't know, simple?"

"I could be naked," Gale said.

"You could be dressed like a sausage," Al said.

"Or a bunny," Lance said.

"Or a bratwurst."

"Or a lovely assistant in a revealing glittery outfit." Lance blinked, then shivered.

"Or the groom," Tony said, smelling his rose. "I think that might be nice."

"Yeah," Gale said. "Okay. I mean, who needs all those fainting people at a wedding, right? Maybe I should wear a mask or something, a bit of padding, maybe? Because this body - whew. Hot stuff."

"It could still be a magically floating cake," Lance said hopefully.

"Or sausages."

"I think that might give people the wrong idea," Gale said. "I mean, a guy lying in the middle of sausages. Kind of sends the wrong message, you know?"

"Conserved meat is good. Marriage is good. I don't see the problem."

"Yeah, but this sausage is a special sausage, know what I mean? This sausage is going exclusive."

"Ah. Self-knowledge," Lance said. "The beginning of wisdom. Is it a miracle, or is it .... magic?" He pulled a small rabbit out of a potted plant and put it on the table.

"Fine, fine. Be a traditionalist," said Al. "A conservative. Doing everything the same as everybody else."

The rabbit took a few wary hops.

"But I'm telling you, this country was built by people with vision. With _guts_."

"I don't have those," Gale said. "At least, not so that you'd see. My gut is invisible."

Lance gestured mysteriously. "Magic!"

"Ha, I wish. These abs are 100% hard work, sirs and ... sirs. Long, hard, sweaty work."

"I have seen this," Tony said. "This is actually true."

"People see this body and _weep_."

"That, not so much, I think."

The rabbit started nibbling on Al's salad.

Al sighed. "Oh well. As long as you're both happy. I mean, that's what's important, right? Love."

"Ah, _amore_ ," Tony said.

"The Queen of Hearts," Lance said, then frowned. "The King of Hearts?"

"Gorgeous, beautiful me."

Al poured them all some more wine, and they drank to that.


End file.
